Play and Slave Contracts

Play and slave contracts. What are those? Very simply, they are written contracts that the two (or more) who are playing, or in a long term relationship, come up with. The reason for this is simple. People want to know that what they want done is being done. Also, slave contracts are starting to become legal. Therefore, it’s now a saftey net for the Dom, as they can say “see, this is what was agreed to”.

Some people don’t go into contracts (me and my girl do not have one), however, it’s always a good idea for some sort of written “this is ok” for the play. This is most important when you are with someone new, as you don’t know their wants and needs.

A proper contract will have whats ok, where the limits are, and what is off limits. Just because you enjoy something, doesn’t mean that your playmate does. Also in the contract should be time limits (for slave contracts this is most important), any medical problems, allergies, safe words, and who to contact in case of emergency. And, yes, sometimes emergencies can happen, from something major (oh my god, she’s not breathing), to something small, (Hey, Bob, can you pick up Sue? She can’t drive at the moment.)

Now, that doesn’t mean that the contract will be followed, or has to be. What do I mean there? Sometimes, pushing limits can be thrilling. If that is the case, make sure that there is something in the contract to deal with that. If a limit is passed, what happens then? Does the sub leave? Does the sub just let it happen?

Another very, very important part of the contract should be food/medications. Why? If I don’t know that clams can kill you, I might make you eat them because you said you don’t like them. Same with meds. If the sub has to take meds at certain times (before eating is the normal), then it’s the responsibility of the Dom to remember. Because, well, the sub may be in places that she can’t remember anything at that point. That’s kinda the point, really…..

Many times there will be safe words in play and slave contracts, for both long term and short term. Same as the contract itself, safe words are the most important for new partners. With long term partners, most Doms will get to the point that they can pick up little clues to the mental and physical state of their partner. Now, I don’t mean long term Doms, I mean long term partners. Even if it’s once a week, after a few months/years a good Dom will be able to tell when something is wrong. That’s also why most play takes time to reach the climax. Not always, but most.

If there will be any time that the sub is gagged, or in any other way not able to speak, there should also be something in the contract for such. Many will use a bell or something else that will give the Dom a audio and visual clue as to the state of the sub.

These are just some things that I have found SHOULD be in contracts. Below, I will place links to some contracts that are placed online for people to use.

Albany Power Exchange Slave Contract
The BDSM Circle (this has sub/slave contracts for both male and female doms)
This site is “under construction”, so may not be up long. Both slave and sub contracts

And, as always, play safe.

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BDSM Play: Flogging

Been a few days on my BDSM play posts. And, honestly, I’m slowly running out of things to write about when it deals with Play Time. Why? Well, because I’m only going to write about things I know about, and that I do on a semi-regular basis. That’s what brings me to flogging.

Why would that bring me here? Well, it’s simple. I’m a sadist. And sadists like to hurt people. Now, there are many other ways to hurt people besides flogging. But, there’s just something about having a flogger in hand that makes it more worth it then anything else. Perhaps it’s the way it feels, or the sound it makes.

Now, the problem with floggers is that it can be very, very dangerous. Most of the toys that someone new to the lifestyle will pick up are simple things from the porn store. That’s a good thing and a bad thing. The good part is that they are NORMALLY softer then the ones that a leather shop can make for you. The bad part is sometimes they are much harder then you want, and can easily cut the skin of your partner.

Always, ALWAYS, make sure that you have the right flogger for the person you are beating. Some people enjoy a softer touch, so you want rabbits fur (or faux rabbits fur for your soft hearted people). If the person is a big pain slut, then you can buy floggers made with ball chain, or with studs in the leather.

If you have the money, having a flogger hand made for you is preferable to a mass produced one. Better yet, if you have the skills, make them yourself. There are plenty of step by step guides out there on how to make any toy you may want to make. I’m sure, with enough searching, you can find out how to make your own dolls.

Also, keep in mind that some people call bull whips floggers, others will not. Some will call any multi fall flogger a Cat o’ Nine Tails, others will look at you crazy for calling anything but a 9 fall flogger that.

And, as always, be safe.

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BDSM Play: Humiliation

Humiliation. This is one that many people just don’t understand. Why would anyone want to be humiliated, and then get a sexual charge out of it? Well, I’m not going to get into why people enjoy BEING humiliated, but why people enjoy humiliating others.

Now, to understand why people enjoy humiliating others, you first have to understand a basic part of human instinct. And that is to be top dog. I really don’t care if your male or female, you want to be the best at something. Even if that means the best slave in the pen. No one really wants to be Omega, and even those that say they are happy in middle management have their eyes set on those above them. That’s were humiliation comes to play.

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