One of the posts on Fetlife made me think of this one.  And I don’t mean my own kinks, or your kinks.  No, something a bit different.  How do people think about OTHER PEOPLES KINKS?  That is the question.  Now, I don’t have stats, or surveys to back up my thoughts here.  Instead, I have the words of people on many BDSM/Lifestyle forums to thank for the way I view this.  Why?  Because I spend way to much of my time there.

For a group of people that should be extremely open minded, kinksters in general seem to be closed minded when it comes to kink.  Now, what do I mean here?  It’s simple, really.  For some odd reason, when someone hears about someones kink, there’s a part of the mind that goes “that’s just wrong”.  That, in turn, colors the way people talk about kink in general.  I’ve seen way to many flame wars pop up because “My kink is better then your kink” then almost anything else when it comes to some forums (*coughcollarmecough*)  At the same time, people go “well, we’re open about your kinks”.

I can’t honestly say that I’m outside of the mold.  I just don’t understand age play, and many other types of kink.  Why?  Because it just doesn’t fit what I want.  And, honestly, never will.  It’s simple, really.  As I don’t understand it, I don’t like it.  And what people don’t like, they sometimes get the view of “why should anyone do this”.  Even the most well intended person can get that view, and then have issues with someone else over it.

The point of all this?  Think about what your typing, or saying, before you do.  If you would find offense at the way it is said/written about your kink, then just do say it.


As the normal search results for this site are on BDSM and Gor, thought I might give a bit on my thoughts on BDSM, as I allready covered Gor in an earlier post. As with most things related to sexuality and kink, this may not be the post for more of you to read. However, for those intrested in the subjects, I’m not going to put much under a cut unless this becomes REALLY large. And it may become the largest post that I’ve written to date.

Now, some may be asking, what is BDSM? There are a few things this acronym stands for, but my favorBDSM Symbolite is a bit longer then most. That’s Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. There are plenty of people who read those words, and think “oh my god, your into an abusive thing, it’s just not right.” And to those, I say it’s right for me. I am a sadist. I enjoy giving others pain. It’s a safe outlet for that need, and one that my wife enjoys. So, what I’m going to do is go through my thoughts on each subject. I will have other posts that talk about my thoughts on different play types.
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Another kink club closes its doors

Found this while going through BDSM blogs here.  The poster I got it from was House of Void.  Not sure where he got it from (assuming an email list).

“Good evening. This is an update from The Lair/The Cell Block It is with regret the Directors wish to inform the Adult Lifestyle Community that “The Lair” is closed and will not be opened again in THAT location. W/we also wish to inform all of Y/you that this has absolutely nothing to do with BDSM or any of the other activities W/we engage in. It appears that owning items such as “whips, floggers, corset’s, cuffs and a neck enclosure” are considered “adult toys” and as The Lair owned such items, even if they were locked securely in the office. It was deemed by Zoning that we are just as “Adam and Eves and Pricilla’s“. Those items when combined with two or more people are considered “adult entertainment”. It does not matter if those items were O/ours personally, it did not matter if W/we never used them on anyone, Zoning would still consider them “adult toys”. Zoning in North Carolina also states, “adult entertainment cannot be within 500 foot of any establishment that houses children or ANY residential area. Due to this information the Directors regret to say we have no choice but to close The Lair. Additionally even though The Lair will reopen, in a different place, different time, different location, this will take time. The Directors of the Lair will be contacting all sponsors in the near future. If you have question please feel free to contact me personally behind the scenes. The Directors of The Lair/The Cell Block/A Personal Touch, wishes to thank the community for your outstanding support during the grand opening and the opening of the business above. As always you were wonderful. See A/all of you very soon. ~*mysty starr*~”