Learn from my mistakes

The title says everything.  This post is to make sure others learn from where I fucked up.  I know I’ve been bad, and having posted anything in a long time.  But, here it goes.

I fucked up.  Yeah, I have issues saying that.  But I did.  How did I fuck up?  Well, here is the story (names have been changed, but anyone that knows me will know who I’m talking about.)

Even though I misspoke a few moments ago on a comment, and said I’ve been jobless for 2 years, it’s really been a year.  When I was fired from my last job, I became hugely depressed.  And, like most depressed people, lost all care for everything.

Of course, this caused issues with my kajira.  I didn’t care enough to eat most days, let alone Master my girls.  So, they looked elsewhere for what they needed.  At first, I was ok with it, as it was just dating.  We were in an open relationship, so it was ok.

Now, I like Mike.  I just have never trusted him.  I’ve known him longer than I’ve known my wife, and there’s just something about him that sets me on edge.  It didn’t help that I felt the only reason he was seeing my wife was to get to our girlfriend.  He made to many slips of the tongue for me to think otherwise.

So, where was my mistake?  Simple, the lack of communication.  Instead of bringing things up when I first started having issues with it, I let it slide.  Then, the arguements and me yelling started to happen.  And still, I wouldn’t tell my wife to leave him.  Why is that?  Another mistake.  I promised her I would never do that….no, I swore to her I would never do that, do to issues with her ex-fiancee.

So, I started to push them away.

I’m not going to say their innocent in this whole mess.  We all are to blame for not speaking.  They didn’t bring their problems to me till the problems had become more than they could handle.  The times I wanted or needed to spend time with the girls, they were with Mike instead.  Even our roommates could have helped by at least SAYING something to me at some point, but instead kept their mouths shut.

So, learn from my mistakes.  I don’t know how many still every so often check this blog, but if you do, read and learn.

2 Responses

  1. That’s pretty rough. I can understand in some ways too. It’s why I’m a slut for clarification and communication. I don’t ever want their to be complications because I didn’t say something or left something unexplained. I hope things get worked out for you.

  2. Still trying to work things out in my own mind, hence no posts recently

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