BDSM Play: Humiliation

Humiliation. This is one that many people just don’t understand. Why would anyone want to be humiliated, and then get a sexual charge out of it? Well, I’m not going to get into why people enjoy BEING humiliated, but why people enjoy humiliating others.

Now, to understand why people enjoy humiliating others, you first have to understand a basic part of human instinct. And that is to be top dog. I really don’t care if your male or female, you want to be the best at something. Even if that means the best slave in the pen. No one really wants to be Omega, and even those that say they are happy in middle management have their eyes set on those above them. That’s were humiliation comes to play.

There is just something about bringing someone down a peg or two. That can be verbal (I constantly call my girl a slut, whore, or bitch), or physical (collars and leads. That’s right people, those who wear collars as fashion statements should think about it, it was first used for humiliation in BDSM). Even a simple slap on the face, or even ass, in public can be seen as humiliation. The real sexual charge comes from the dominating act in it. The, I can do this, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

You do have to remember, there is a difference between private humiliation (what takes place in the bedroom), and public humiliation (collar and lead). There seems to be an ideal that what happens in the bedroom, doesn’t mean anything in the real world. However, I feel that is false (again, will have a post about that later), and those that enjoy being humiliated in the bed room are more likely to shrug it off out of the bedroom. Why? Because their so used to it from a trusted (hopefully) source, that they can deal with it out in the real world. Same with those that do the humiliating. It’s easier for them to hold off on that last comment then the normal person.

Humiliation isn’t only it’s own play, but comes into play from the D/s and M/s relationships to. Again, see the afore mentioned collar and lead. If you are “above” someone, and you make it known (such as my saying the bina is MY girl), then that is public humiliation. Or, if someone says that they have a Master/Mistress, again, it’s public humiliation. Only using those terms in a bedroom, well, that would be private.

Take whatever side you want on this issue. But always remember, be safe about it.

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4 Responses

  1. Interesting blog… the understanding of why people like humiliation can get really complicated.

  2. Humiliation play comes in many levels. A sub whose mother called her dumb all the time with absolutely hate any inference that she is stupid, but will enjoy being called my little slut, cock slut, oral sub, or rimming me. You need to know your subs emotional triggers and avoid any humiliation that is truly degrading to her. I enjoy the power aspects of humiliation play, spanking, light public humiliation (grabbing her ass discretely, etc.), having my sub call me Sir in public, etc. – strictbostonm at yahoo. com

  3. Do you think BDSM should be included in a religious lifestyle?

    http://unscrupulouspagans.wordpress.com/

  4. I am Looking for a reliable webshop for seks artikelen in the amsterdam area.

    Thanks!

    Hendrik

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