On BDSM

As the normal search results for this site are on BDSM and Gor, thought I might give a bit on my thoughts on BDSM, as I allready covered Gor in an earlier post. As with most things related to sexuality and kink, this may not be the post for more of you to read. However, for those intrested in the subjects, I’m not going to put much under a cut unless this becomes REALLY large. And it may become the largest post that I’ve written to date.

Now, some may be asking, what is BDSM? There are a few things this acronym stands for, but my favorBDSM Symbolite is a bit longer then most. That’s Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. There are plenty of people who read those words, and think “oh my god, your into an abusive thing, it’s just not right.” And to those, I say it’s right for me. I am a sadist. I enjoy giving others pain. It’s a safe outlet for that need, and one that my wife enjoys. So, what I’m going to do is go through my thoughts on each subject. I will have other posts that talk about my thoughts on different play types.

Bondage/Discipline: Honestly, this is the one that I think most people think of when they hear BDSM. Some one tied up, the other with a crop in their hand. And that’s not all that far from the truth of the matter. However, there are many different things you can do with this simple concept, and many of them are quite….fun….

There is Japanese Rope bondage, standard ropes, chains, handcuffs, and many other things that can be used to fill the void. Also, and many people scoff at this, most couples are at least a bit into bondage, as the easiest to learn to do is just holding down the wrists of your partner. During Anal, many will grab the hair of their partner for extra leverage, however, that also means that you have bond your partner in a way.

As for the Discipline part of it. It’s as simple as pulling ropes a bit harder when someone doesn’t do as you say. Or can be as difficult as a full blown scene where the person is punished in various ways when the right answer isn’t given, or when something is done that shouldn’t be done. Interrogation scenes have this, as when the person isn’t giving the answers that are wanted, then some sort of punishment is needed.

Dominance/submission: Now, this does not really go hand in hand with B/d. As I just told one person, the person that is using the ropes/crops/whips is not always the dominate partner. The person calling the shots is (and that includes you, bratty subs. Will have a post about them later). Again, this is something that happens on a daily non-kink basis, as if you look at your life, you will see that there are those that are more dominate then you, and those that are more submissive.

Many keep this to the bedroom. Some take it 24/7. These are called Total Power Exchanges, and can range from simple Master/servant (wherein one person takes the role of an employer, and one takes the role of a servant, sometimes including sexual), to full blown Master/slave (the name says it all). I will put in this disclaimer, unless there is some sort of agreement, this is all consensual. Many relationships such as these have contracts, wherein they will state what is allowed, and what is not.

Sadism/Masochism: Sadism, from the Marques DeSade, one of the first really read kink authors. Masochism, from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Each describes a sexual preference when it comes to pain.

Sadists enjoy giving pain. There are those that enjoy just the sensation of giving it (the feel of the whip striking flesh), and those that enjoy everything. Some take it to far, and are a danger to others, most however know of to control it, and will make sure not to seriously hurt their partner. This is a term that is used alot in modern news, and gives those in the kink world a bad name, even though the name only means that the person enjoys giving pain.

Masochist enjoy receiving pain. Again, there are different levels of it. Some really enjoy the sensation, others really want the pain. Personally, I enjoy playing with those that enjoy pain, being the sadist I am. And this normally isn’t to the point that every little pain feels good, and many have the ability to “turn it off” as my slave states. But, it does make sex for them more enjoyable.

So, that is my take on what the various words in BDSM mean. This is in no way correct, as everyone has different ideals when it comes to kink, but it is mine.

Further Reading:

The Loving Dominate By Doctor John Warren
Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns by Molly Devon and Phillip Miller
Alt.com Website on BDSM
The Sex Geek Blog by Andrea Zanin, who gives does Kink Workshops

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3 Responses

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